Slice of Life: Episode Two by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2023-07-13T23:00:00+00:00

The Gatcha of the Gods

When I finally returned to the Refuge there was no one waiting for me at the gate. No flower-petal confetti or parrots landing merrily upon my shoulder. It wasn’t that all the trolls were gone or anything – the city was still just as busy as when I’d left it. It was just that I hadn’t actually done anything heroic enough to warrant having my homecoming celebrated. I was just your basic pilgrim, back from the First Trial – a test which the vast majority of these trolls had already completed. Probably way back when they were children or troll-pups or whatever the heck they called their young. I’d have to ask.

Anyway, the Old Charlie might have felt a little put out, like he was being cheated. Like he was under-appreciated and deserved a welcoming party. He might have sulked around until someone asked him, what’s wrong?

But not New Charlie , as I was fond of calling him.

New Charlie was as Zen as Giuseppe at the start of a Friday-Night dinner-service:

“Heya Charlie,” Giuseppe would say at the beginning of what promised to be a busy shift, “we’re gonna work our butts off tonight, it’s true. But don’t despair for even a moment, my friend – it will be over before you know it. In fact, it already is over.” He snapped his fingers. “You see, time as we perceive it is an illusion, my boy. A mere invention of Man; we made it all up; a coping mechanism shared by the entire species. And so you see, time therefore cannot be infinite—because true infinity is beyond our limited human comprehension. Time is a flat circle, Charlie. Everything we have done or will do we will do over and over and over again – forever.”

“Okay, Boss.” I’d laugh, tickled and confused as usual.

“You know what else is a flat circle?” He had that mischievous look he’d get when he was gonna hit me with the punchline.

“No clue, G-Funk. Why don’t you tell me?”

But actually – I already knew.

The punchline was pretty much always some variation on ‘ pizza.’

I had returned to the Refuge a changed man. There wasn’t a welcoming committee to greet me and that was no big deal. But New Charlie did get some looks, though. I mean there I was: this dirty-faced Half-Hobbit, reeking like campfire, sticky-fingered from slurping way too much fruit-gravy, and repurposing my brand-new baby-scimitar as a walking-stick. You bet I turned some Troll heads.

I crossed the great plaza, too busy to be caught up in the traps and trinkets laid out by the vendors of the bazaar. I was on a mission. I marched straight for the Temple of Ka . Yeah, I was looking forward to getting back to my awesome apartment with its Multiverse of Charlie. The tiny geysers in my treehouse hot-tub, waiting to power-wash each of my dirty little nooks-and-crannies. But that all could wait just a little while longer.

It was time to claim my rewards , like the trial had promised.

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